by Paula | Aug 15, 2017 | Paula Persists
I just watched portions of today’s press conference with The D. He continues to defend the actions of the white supremacists who brought their vile message of hate to Charlottesville last weekend. It is revolting.
This is not my President.
I will stand with Charlottesville’s counter-protesters that risked their lives. I will stand against hate and intolerance along with my immigrant, LGBT, Jewish, Hispanic, Black and Muslim friends, family members and colleagues. I will not turn my head aside and silently accept this kind of world for my beautiful Hispanic grand daughters.
Yet, I (and most of my colleagues and friends) live in a cocoon of white, middle-class privilege. Many of us feel powerless to make a difference. Today, a co-worker asked “What can I do?”. After pondering this much of the day, here is my suggested starter kit for white, middle-class fledgling activists:
Recognize and acknowledge the presence and power of white privilege. Read Unpacking the backpack of white privilege or This essay if you want to learn more.
Be self-aware: take a close look at your own implicit biases – we all have them because we are human. Be more aware of the lens you use to view the world, and where that lens may be ‘cracked’.
Pay attention to every-day micro and macro aggressions towards yourself and others. It is likely that you have people in your life that exhibit their own implicit (or explicit) biases in unkind, thoughtless or hurtful ways.
Get out of your comfort zone to challenge inappropriate or hurtful comments or other micro-aggressions that you encounter. Call out the sexist or homophobic joke, the racist reference, or the casual nasty remark about a woman’s body.
Find your voice and find your power. Power is the ability to affect change, in yourself and others. You are not powerless.
Get involved. Volunteer in a homeless shelter, tutor someone, attend a march, organize a fund-raiser, volunteer for a political candidate, write a blog, donate money, join a group that is focused on resistance. But … DO something.
Be brave. By taking a stand, you will risk ridicule and risk being misunderstood. Yet, your best and most authentic self will stand up for what you know to be right, even when it is not easy. Try being brave in small ways first; you may just surprise yourself!
Finally, Be Kind. Be the Change you want to see in the world.
by Paula | Aug 12, 2017 | Family, Uncategorized
I am prepping to enter Monday’s Moth story slam, with the theme of ‘Caution”. I will be reminiscing about one of my many adventures with Dan. This is a preview of my entry.
A few years ago my husband, Dan, started a campaign to get me to like camping. I’ve had some bad camping experiences before I met him; and I am a huge fan of indoor plumbing.
Dan wanted to spend a week camping near Lake Superior, So, he decided we should go on a trial weekend camping trip, after which (according to his plan) I would be smitten by the camping bug. Day 1 went well – but, by evening time, we had 42 mosquito bites, 36 of which were on my ankles. In addition to being very tasty mosquito meat, I am extremely allergic, and didn’t sleep at all. Day 2 brought a lot of rain—we quickly decamped and drove home amidst the deluge.
Needless to say, we rented a cabin for our longer vacation near lake Superior– A beautiful, gorgeous cabin with a flush toilet and a solid roof over our heads. We did many nature related activities such as hiking, canoeing and eating pasties.
Our canoe trip started out by visiting the canoe ‘guy’… he had set up shop on the roadside in a trailer home. In response to our knock on his door, he emerged amid a plume of herbal medicinal smoke—for which he assured us he had a prescription. We hung out with the canoe dude for a while, before venturing out into the water.
We had a great time gently paddling through the water admiring the wildlife and beautiful vistas all around us – including a large family of ducks sunning themselves on a log. We stopped at a sandbar for a rest and some lunch, before heading back down into the water.
We didn’t get far before someone passing us asked if that was our backpack on the sandbar…. Upon closer inspection we realized we had left our backpack on dry land behind us…. we did the canoe equivalent of a U-ey and went back to the sandbar.
What happens next is where Dan and I have a different recollection of events. However, I am the one with the blog, so you will be hearing MY version –although Dan is happy to offer HIS version of events to anyone who asks.
I was at the front of the canoe, and as we arrived at the sandbar I stepped onto land and started heading towards our backpack, when I heard sounds of distress behind me… I turned around to see Dan, who had inexplicably managed to get tangled up in the branches of a dead tree that had fallen into the water near shore; and he was slowly tipping over in the canoe, while emitting sounds of distress. As I watched him tip over in slow motion, I yelled out: “I will jump in and rescue you as soon as I quite laughing”!
In Dan’s version – as I exited the canoe I pushed it backwards into the current, carrying him directly into the ‘punji sticks of death”: which seems a tad over-dramatic to me.
Eventually, I stopped laughing, and Dan emerged from under the canoe. We set the canoe upright, retrieved our bag, and headed back into the water; retrieving more of our items that were now floating IN the water as we went. Once we were recombobulated, Dan suggested that we go out into Lake Superior… That’s right, Dan wanted to go out into the cold depths of Lake Gitchigoonie… right after capsizing our canoe in 18 inches of water. Instead, we decided we’d had enough canoeing for the day – and stopped at a restaurant for a nice duck dinner.
by Paula | Aug 5, 2017 | Paula Persists, Uncategorized
Our current administration is reminiscent of a soap-opera, complete with an ever-changing colorful cast of characters and over-the-top melodrama. The lead actor in this ultimate reality show thrives on the attention and chaos.
However, The D has had a rough couple of weeks. Despite years of rhetoric blasting the Affordable Care Act, his Republican henchmen have been unable to agree on an alternative. A bill that is cruel enough to satisfy the hard-core tea-partiers can’t get past the few Republican moderates that still have remnants of a spine. One of their many kooky schemes was to deliberately pass a horrible bill, with a pre-agreement that the House would shoot it down. They were going to kick a shit-can of a bill down the road with the hope that Paul Ryan’s House would rise above the stench.
The D’s bizarre policy-by-tweet approach is proving to be unsuccessful with top military brass, who were not consulted prior to The D’s s random tweet banning transgender troops. The Brass have made it clear that tweets are not a substitute for actual policy, and have (bravely and wisely) opted to take no action until and unless an actual command or policy emerges. On the bright side– It appears that the whole debacle has raised our awareness of the existence and bravery of our transgender troops.
It would be tough to screw up a speech to a bunch of wholesome Boy Scouts. Yet, the D managed to blow it–bigly. It was a bizarre, curse-laced political and self-aggrandizing rant. No merit badge for The D.
We should thank The D for one of the most entertaining episodes of his administration thus far–The Mooch! Scaramucci’s pugnacious, confrontational style stood out as over-the-top; even among the colorful cast at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. Stephen Colbert had a field day with many Mooch quotes, including this “I don’t stab people in the back, I am more of a front-stabber”.
Sadly, for Colbert and his comic colleagues, The Mooch only lasted 10 days before getting ousted. But stay tuned, who knows what the next episode of “as The D Turns” will bring?
by Paula | Aug 3, 2017 | Uncategorized
I recently listened to a TED talk that included a story of a man who pretended to be mentally ill / crazy to get out of a criminal conviction. The problem was that once he was in a mental institution, he could not convince anyone that he was sane. Once he had a label of a mental illness, any attempts he made to defend himself were considered as further prove that he was manipulative and dangerous. It was a vicious cycle.
We’ve probably all had the experience of someone jumping to an incorrect or incomplete conclusion about us –creating a label which becomes very hard to shake.
When I am being honest with myself (something I frequently avoid), I recognize that I can be quick to label others. Jumping to conclusions based on the imperfect sorting mechanism in my head is easier than really getting to know someone or having to consider an alternative point of view.
Once we attribute a negative label to someone, it can be really difficult to change that perception. Our biases become self-sustaining as we find further evidence to support our initial conclusions. Our brains love to accommodate our desire to prove ourselves right! So — as the ‘crazy’ person desperately tries to prove they are sane — we see their desperation as more evidence of their craziness.
Labels play out in family groups all the time: a child may be labelled as a particular ‘type’: The brain, the screw-up, the clumsy one, the lazy one, etc. Labels at a young age influence a child’s emerging sense of self–for better or for worse.
From a business lens, these implicit biases result in the continued promotion and hiring of people who look, think and act similarly to existing leadership. Yet, we know that inclusiveness and diversity make organizations stronger and that companies get stale through in-breeding. Leaders caught in the rip tide of the prevalent corporate culture, fail to recognize their implicit biases and the associated opportunity costs.
So, the next time that my loud-mouth, trouble-making co-worker gets on my nerves… I will ask him (or her) to go to lunch and talk about what is on their mind. Maybe, just maybe, we will both be pleasantly surprised.
