by Paula | Nov 23, 2017 | Family, Paula Persists
The majority of my posts over the past 12 months have reflected outrage and dismay. But, not today. Today I reflect on the many blessings of our life and optimism for the future.
I am very thankful to have Dan in my life. He is always in my corner, and has become my rock through a lot of ‘thick and thin’. We are both grateful for our log home in the woods–we enjoy entertaining and sharing our home through AirBnB – a new endeavor for us this past year.
Family is a constant source of blessings and joy – I am thankful to be able to regularly connect with my kids, their spouses / significant others, and (of course!) those delightful twin grand-girls. There is nothing in the world more cheering than experiencing the twin’s enthusiasm and charm first-hand. My 90 year old dad is doing fantastic – with good mental and physical health. We hope to have many more years with dad. (I also have to give a quick shout-out to our mutt, Cleo, who makes sure I take a walk at least once a day.)
After my recent job change, I have re-discovered the pleasure of being fully engaged and appreciated on the job; with a great boss and co-workers. The days fly.
I am grateful for the heightened awareness and involvement of the majority of Americans, including myself, over the last year. We have seen what happens with an overly complacent majority. I am optimistic that we will see a corrective backlash in 2018–which will only happen if we remain aware and engaged.
Finally, I am grateful for my health and for my tennis buddies. I hope to be on the court–smacking balls and talking smack for many years to come.
by Paula | Nov 11, 2017 | Paula Persists
I was 13. My freshmen science teacher touched me under the guise of ‘tickling’ when we were alone in the classroom. I didn’t have words for it. I felt weird and bad and ashamed. This is the first time I’ve told anyone. It still makes me feel weird.
I haven’t thought of this for years…. but now, the dam of silence is breaking. This damn dam has protected men who harass and abuse others with impunity for far too long. Like the glass ceiling, there are new cracks, but it is far from shattered.
Our culture has enabled powerful and important men to sexually harass and victimize others without reproach or consequences. For decades, the women that spoke out were marginalized, ignored, mocked, and retaliated against. Many women made the difficult choice to suffer in silence, rather than run the very real risk of public humiliation, character assassination and/or career suicide by speaking out.
Even if she is believed, women victims are/were often blamed: She was too friendly, she wasn’t friendly enough, she was a slut, she was a bitch, she was in the wrong place, she wore the wrong clothes, etc. In the 9th grade, I didn’t even know that telling someone was an option.
In contrast, entitled perpetrators often receive no more than a sly wink or a slap on the wrist with comments along the lines of “boys will be boys” or “she was asking for it”; or “it was just locker room talk’. The more famous or rich the pervy perp, the more likely they will avoid consequences for their actions. As #45 (not MY president) famously stated “When you’re famous, you can do anything”.
But lately, there seems to be a slight shift in the narrative, which I have dubbed the Harvey Weinstein Effect. (I’m not entirely sure if that should be ‘affect’ or ‘effect’ – there are a couple people on the planet that know the difference – but I am not one of them). The ultimate fall of Harvey Weinstein has let lose a floodgate of pent up accusations from women who have been empowered and emboldened that they may (now) be taken seriously.
Now that the dam has sprung a leak, the accusations are rushing out — reflecting a tsunami of suffering that has been pent up over the years. Victims who were previously silenced by the near-certainty of harsh backlash, are now more likely to speak their truth.
It is a start.
by Paula | Nov 9, 2017 | Family
A couple weeks ago Dan and I were asked to babysit– not for the grand-girls; but for my son’s dog–Nibbler. My Ben and his wife, Jess, were mere days away from a long-scheduled and much-anticipated vacation, when their dopey dog managed to injure his leg, requiring several stitches. Kennels won’t take injured pups, so they were forced to either find other accommodations for him or cancel their vacation — which would have been a MAJOR (and expensive) bummer.
Readers of this blog (there are least three of you… I should know, I gave birth to you), are aware that we have our own pup (Cleo), and that we frequently rent out our spare room as part of AirB&B. In their previous encounters Cleo and Nibbler had not gotten along particularly well, and we were fully booked with AirB&B guests for the week in question. So, we were a little apprehensive.
But –As I reminded Dan: Moms are the ones you SHOULD be able to call when you are slightly desperate–Moms will do whatever they can to help out in a pinch. Its in the job description. So, of course, we agreed to take Nibbler.
They dropped off Nibbler on Friday evening, and flew to Mexico early Saturday, with plans to pick him up the following Saturday evening. After some initial posturing and excessive barking, Cleo and Nibs got along well. Nibbler was surprisingly affectionate, although Cleo got quite jealous of the attention we paid to him, and vice-versa.
Nibbler’s owners were very well-prepared and provided his bed, treats, medicine, portioned-out meals and a hard-plastic ‘cone of shame’ in case Nibbler showed signs of messing with his leg, and need to be restrained. Nibbler did not show any indication that his leg was bothering him the first day and we did not make him wear the cone. This turned out to be a big mistake. By Sunday night Nibbler had nibbled his stitches out and completely re-opened a nasty wound on his leg.
Three hours and $300 later, Nibbler had a freshly sewn up leg and his temporary caretakers had a renewed commitment to making him wear the ‘cone of shame’ anytime that he wasn’t closely supervised.
The hard-plastic cone surrounded his head, in order to keep him from gnawing on his extremities; but it effectively widened Nibbler’s normally narrow head significantly. He clumsily crashed into walls, doors, and the backs of everyone’s legs–including those of our patient AirB&B guest.
Nibbler’s tummy was upset from his medications, and he wasn’t eating his kibble; so I cooked up a batch of rice and chicken…. essentially spoiling the crap out of both doggies for the rest of Nibbler’s stay.
On the final morning of his stay, the very agile Nibbler somehow managed to rip open a couple of his stitches, necessitating several anxious phone calls and yet another trip to the vet. Luckily, this time, the damage was minimal, and a couple staples fixed him up.
We were all relieved when Ben and Jess arrived late Saturday night from a successful and relaxing vacation to collect their ecstatic canine companion — there is nothing quite like the joy of a pup reunited with his forever family.
I hear that Nibs has healed nicely from the safer environs of his own home, and Cleo has sadly returned to her diet of kibble.
