Jess DudeIn High school my oldest daughter, Kelly, had a good friend, whom she called  Jess Dude; it was never just Jess–It was Jess DUDE.   Like Kelly, Jess had an unique free spirit and a  love of nature and travel.  Kelly and Jess had many adventures together.

Like the time they went backpack camping in Canada — the kind of camping that I would personally not dream of doing; they carried in all their supplies on their backs and carried everything back out with them.  The trip included three (maybe 4?) young women in a remote area of Canada sleeping in the woods.  They shared a love of nature and were all strong, independent free spirits.  But, they had a problem; none of them could cook worth a damn without a microwave.  They rotated cooking chores and made a rule: You can only ask ONE question about the food.

Like the time that Jess Dude met Kelly and I in Washington DC for a March for Reproductive Rights.  We were part of the “Cheeseheads for Choice” contingent.  There were over a million marchers and many empassioned speeches by the likes of Hilary Clinton and Gloria Steinem.  Of course, most people were unaware of the march, since that was also the day that Michael Jackson dangled his (then) baby son over a hotel balcony–apparently stealing all the available media attention for that entire week.

Like the time during that same trip to Washington DC when Jess Dude and Kelly woke me up in our hotel room at 2 am all excited to show me an unusual bug they found nearby — they were geeky weird that way (or maybe there was alchohol involved… not sure)

Like the time Jess Dude rode to Minneapolis with us in preparation for Kelly’s wedding (she was a bridesmaid).  She regaled us during the 4+ hour trip (OK, five hours if you include the unplanned speeding ticket delay) with stories from her recent 6 month stay in Indonesia.  Jess Dude had a unique story-telling style;  which meandered through dimensions of time and geography in a very non-linear fashion with so many sidebars that she and her audience were regularly completely derailed from the original story-line.  We were enthralled, amused and bemused by her tales of misadventure and discovery.

Once in Minneapolis we shared a hotel suite the night before the  wedding.  Jess was looking out the window and in a very conversational mild tone mentioned “Guys – There’s a guy down there with a gun”.   My husband joined her at the window, where he and Jess witnessed a drug deal gone bad.  They subsequently gave statements to the police.  It was yet another memorable and eventful evening with Jess Dude.

Kelly has many more memories and adventures.  The last several years they have been far apart, since Jess has been working and living in remote areas of Alaska.  She did licensing inspections on commercial fishing boats–one of a handful of women doing that type of work. But, despite the distance, they stayed in touch.  They were soul-sisters.

Today Kelly mourns her sister.  Jess went missing while taking a hike in a remote mountainous area.  Yesterday they recovered her body from a snowy ravine.

We never know what’s around that next corner–what trajectory will follow our next step.  What would you do differently if you knew you had little time to live?  To borrow another way of phrasing the question (from Lean In):  “What would you do if you weren’t afraid?”   Jess wasn’t afraid – she did what she loved, on her own terms and was not bound by convention or other people’s notions of who or what she should be.  She is already sorely missed.

Pin It on Pinterest