An Acquired Taste
Tonight I sent a very bizarre text to my husband. Allow me to set the stage.
Our canine companion, Cleo was acquired almost exactly a year ago after a brief, yet intense, campaign on my part to convince Dan that we really needed a dog to complete our new lifestyle in our log cabin in the woods. Although initially resistant, Dan is a very smart man with lots of first-hand experience with my tenacity. Enter Cleo–a husky / beagle mix.
Readers of this blog are familiar with my affection for Cleo. However, she has one particularly annoying and puzzling habit. Shortly after her arrival in our home we discovered 6 pairs of Guzzy’s expensive lacy thong panties torn to shreds. Prior to the mauling, the innocent undies were residing in the bottom of a basket of clean laundry waiting to be put away, requiring a concerted canine effort to root them out into the open. Unfortunately, this was not an isolated incident.
As the primary dog advocate and owner, I would replace the mauled items. I felt super creepy browsing Victoria Secret’s website searching out the lacy, sexy (and seemingly incredibly uncomfortable) styles that Guzzy seems to prefer. Even as a mom, there was a certain ‘ew’ factor.
After Guzzy moved out, Cleo had to find another source for her undie fix, and turned her attentions to my decidedly more substantial (and more comfortable) under garments.
Cleo has proven to be a bit of a savant at sniffing out and destroying panties. If she applied those advanced olfactory skills to sniffing out missing persons or detecting drugs; she could really make a difference and contribute to society. Alas, the only benefactor of her current hobby is Victoria Secret.
Now that I am keeping my own unmentionables under lock and key, Cleo is forced to lower her standards further in order to satisfy her cravings. Dan had bought some new clothes for our recent trip to Belize. Thus, the text I sent him tonight: “Your Jungle undies have been decrotched”.
At the risk of losing my PG rating, I won’t share his reply.