by Paula | Sep 30, 2016 | Anorexia sucks
I was literally the first person to claim a seat for ‘breakfast with Monica’ today at the NEDA Conference. I felt like a shameless groupie! I wore my tennis earrings for the occasion.
When Monica took the stage: my first impression was: boy, is she tall! Monica spoke very articulately about her struggles with Binge Eating Disorder; which she suffered from for many years. While her family and coaches knew something was wrong, they did not understand that this is a medical condition that cannot simply be ‘stopped’. So disciplined and controlled in most aspects of her life, she couldn’t understand why she could not control this element of her life. It baffled her and those in her inner circle.
For many years, Monica’s obsession was not to win the next grand slam; but to get thinner, as she struggled with body image and binge eating demons. It is particularly difficult to take a ‘time out’ to deal with a medical issue when you are a professional athlete. You have contractual obligations, your winnings are needed to support your family and your staff and your staff’s family. That’s a lot of pressure for a teenager! She knew she had a problem, but didn’t know what to do about it–no one in circle really took it seriously. Finally… eventually, she had a frank conversation with her doctor and began the healing process.
During the Q&A, I submitted two questions: 1) Her thoughts on the body-shaming directed at female athletes, including Serena and; 2) why Monica used a two-handed forehand. Only # 2 was posed by the moderator: Monica laughed and said that was because when she started playing, she was playing with an adult sized racquet and needed two hands to control it — and it became a habit.
We were all given a copy of her book: “Get a Grip”; and she stayed to sign copies. I gushed up to her with a copy of my Monica Seles Post from March 2015 (I’m sure she will treasure it always). She inscribed my book with: to Paula: keep Swinging, I’ll see you on the courts”. She couldn’t have been more gracious!
by Paula | Sep 29, 2016 | Anorexia sucks, Our ED Story
I am in Chicago for the annual NEDA conference, and am a little tipsy from the wine at the kick-off dinner as I write this. MONICA SELES IS HERE!!! I will try to be first in line for ‘breakfast with Monica’ tomorrow to buy her book about her experiences living with an eating disorder and to hear her speak. Perhaps I will bring her a copy of my Blog Entry (see http://paula-ponders.com/monica-seles-speaks-out-against-eds/ ) about her, as well as a tennis ball for her to sign (I happened to have one in my car – go figure!)
Aside from meeting tennis icons; the thing I love most about the NEDA conference is hearing people’s stories. Tonight I enjoyed a class of wine with a table of parents, and then went to dinner, where I sat with a group of dedicated young women who are all professionally involved in fighting eating disorders one way or another.
First were the moms… they break my heart. We shared our stories and our heartache. It’s a unique kind of suffering to watch your child self-destruct despite all your love and support. The moms (and dads) at THIS conference understand that all too well. I heard about: the 22 year old bi-polar and anorexic daughter who won’t take her meds or go to her counseling appointments; the insurance company who won’t pay for much-needed treatment; the child who committed suicide in the hospital while a nurse stepped away from her station. So very sad.
Often, parents feel a sense of isolation, guilt and shame; compounding their sense of helplessness and despair. We come together to console, commiserate and support. We understand and we care. It is not enough, but it is something.
Then… a walk down Wacker Avenue, past the Trump Tower (I will try to refrain from political commentary) to Chuck’s restaurant. I ended up at a table of young, attractive and vibrant women. One is an athletic director and coach in Portland Oregon – she strives to promote healthy body image among her student athletes–which can be challenging in a co-ed sport requiring swimsuits. She advises that one of the challenges with girl athletes is that they need ‘permission’ to be aggressive. The challenge with boys is that they need to manage their aggressive tendancies. Interesting.
Many of the young women work for non-profits: one manages an on-line community to support those suffering from eating disorders as a positive and constructive alternative to the disgusting ‘pro-ana’ sites on the web. A couple other women are lobbyists that promote legislation to support funding and coverage for mental health issues. Another is a program director for an eating disorder treatment center. Wow – that is a lot of inspiring commitment!
I hope they all vote.
by Paula | Mar 9, 2015 | Anorexia sucks
You may have heard Monica Seles’ story. She was an electric and fabulously talented young player in the early 1990s. Seles moved to Florida from Yugoslovia at the age of 13 to live and train in a tennis academy. During a stretch from 1991 to 1993, she won seven Grand Slam singles titles, all before her 20th birthday. In 1993, her career was tragically cut short by a maniac who stabbed her in the shoulder court-side. Her attacker was a crazed fan of Steffi Graf whom Monica was beating at the time. Although she returned to tennis for a brief time, Monica never fully recovered her winning form. We will never know how many MORE titles she would have been able to win.
Monica has recently revealed that she suffered from binge eating disorder during her playing years; and has since become an advocate for treatment and eating disorder awareness. You can read more about it in the USA Today Article.
Monica was a ferocious competitor and I have no doubt that she is an equally fearless and dedicated champion for eating disorder advocacy. Eating disorders are more common than you might think among athletes, both amateur and professional. An athlete’s body is their biggest asset, and that heightened focus on their body and their nutrition can contribute to disordered eating. Perfectionism and a heightened need for control are common traits among athletes and among those afflicted with eating disorders. Coaches and trainers should be particularly observant for their players / athletes… especially during the vulnerable adolescent years.
While I am very sorry that Monica struggled, I am very thankful that she is brave enough to share her story in a very public way. Every celebrity that shares their personal story helps to erode the stigma that is still associated with eating disorders.
This story is a great find for me! I don’t often get to combine my love for tennis with my passion for eating disorder advocacy. Perhaps Monica would be willing to trade some free PR in my blog (an heretofore under-rated value) for a lesson to improve my backhand, or maybe a signed tennis ball? Just give me a call Monica – I’m sure we can work something out!!!
