by Paula | Jul 26, 2015 | Anorexia sucks, Our ED Story
When my beautiful daughter was diagnosed with severe anorexia in 2013, I was gobsmacked. The first days were spent coming up with a hundred irrational rationalizations and alternative reasons for her severe weight loss. Soon enough our new reality sank in: this was serious and this was not going away quickly or easily.
We embarked on a journey to a then foreign land of meal plans, therapies, and hospitalizations. For me it was an immersion-like education program in EDs: I camped out in her hospital room and talked to all the providers and therapists. I read voraciously and trolled the internet for information during the wee hours of the night. Little did I know that, for me, this journey would continue beyond my daughter’s eventual recovery.
The more I learned, the more I wanted to get involved in advocacy work. Once again, I came up with a hundred rationalizations and reasons for NOT getting involved: I am too busy and don’t have time; I’m ‘just’ a mom—there are others who are more qualified; What if I make people uncomfortable; What if people judge me because MY daughter was sick; and what exactly CAN I do?
While I was stuck in waffle mode; I read Amy Poehler’s book: “Yes, Please”. When asked how she manages her own hectic schedule; her reply went right to the heart of my personal dilemma:
“You do it because the doing of the thing IS the thing. The doing is the thing. The talking and worrying and thinking is not the thing. That is what I know. “
The DOING is the thing. That struck a chord. I was (almost) ready to get off of the proverbial pot. Then I went to the 2014 NEDA Conference in San Antonio. The Conference was amazing. I was able to meet and speak with other parents, with providers and with individuals in various stages of recovery. We shared stories: Stories of loss; stories of unconditional love and support; stories of suffering; stories of hope; stories that would break your heart; and stories that would lift you up.
Once back home, I was pumped up, but was still wondering–what can I do? I’m not a doc or a therapist, I’m an IT Project manager for heaven’s sakes. I plan and organize stuff. Then I heard it- that CLICK you hear in your own head when the penny drops and a solution to a puzzle appears: I can coordinate a walk.
I learned that NEDA provides a HUGE amount of support for its walks; including an email blast to recruit members for a walk committee. I was fortunate enough to get awesome volunteers for my committee (really – they ARE the secret sauce). NEDA provides step by step guidelines and support from a staff member; it’s been wonderful to know that whenever I have a question I can send an email or pick up the phone.
We formed our Walk committee early — in January and our walk is in September. This gave us time to familiarize ourselves with the walk process, get to know each other, and to develop and share great ideas. Have I mentioned that my committee is AWESOME?
Coordinating this walk has been a journey of discovery for all of us. We’ve all had to step out of our comfort zone to pick up the phone to call a media contact, a potential speaker, or a donor. Despite an initial dry spell in our efforts, we doubled down, refined our pitch, and are now reaping the benefits in positive responses from in-kind donations, speakers and financial support. Heck, we even got some caps and totes from the Packers to give away as prizes!
Every step of the journey we think of new ideas: some of which will bear fruit, and others that are filed away for ‘next time’. As I write this, our walk is less than two months away, and I am really pumped up to see the walker registrations and donations climb as the event gets closer. We’ve laid the groundwork for an AWESOME event. Of course small things can (and probably will) go wrong—it might rain, a speaker might bomb; I might get so nervous that I pee myself; but we’ll cope with whatever happens.
If I can coordinate a walk – so can you! My advice is to not limit yourself with self-doubts. I had exactly zero prior experience with non-profit charity fund raisers. If you have decent organizational and communication skills and a passionate commitment to preventing and treating eating disorders: You already have what it takes. NEDA can and will provide tools and guidance along the way.
That’s my story and my pitch. If you are interested in tracking the progress of our walk – check it out at Madison NEDA Walk. Madison is going to ROCK this Walk!
by Paula | Mar 28, 2015 | Anorexia sucks, Our ED Story, Uncategorized
I am super excited to be the Coordinator of the 2015 Madison NEDA Walk on September 20th.
My daughter suffered from a severe eating disorder in High School. Her illness, treatment, and eventual recovery set me on a trajectory of education, advocacy and activism on behalf of eating disorder awareness and prevention. Help is available and recovery IS possible.
Last fall I went to the NEDA Conference in San Antonio, and was blown away by the dedication and passion of the NEDA staff, health care providers, parents and most of all, by those in recovery; who shared their hard-won wisdom and their stories. Stories that will break your heart and lift you up.
During and after the conference I asked myself: What can I do? This event is the answer to that question.
Now, the question is – What can YOU do?
1. Register for the walk – it is going to be AWESOME! Click Here to register and/or donate
2. Create Your own team! The walk will be even MORE awesome with more friends
3. Make a contribution. Help get our fund-raising thermometer to the HOT HOT HOT setting!
4. Tell all your friends, family, neighbors and that certain someone you’ve been too shy to talk to – I can’t think of a better ice breaker!
5. If you want to learn more about Eating Disorders or my family’s journey against ED – read my posts from the ‘eating disorders suck’ menu. But not until after you’ve contributed to the walk.
Below is additional information from (and about) NEDA
The National Eating Disorders Association’s vision is to eliminate eating disorders globally by promoting positive body image and self-esteem and by discouraging dieting behaviors, drive for thinness, and body dissatisfaction. NEDA is recognized and supported by sufferers, families, health care professionals and educators throughout the world. As you can see, raising awareness for this organization is critical in order to create a world where all women, girls and men feel confident about their bodies and are embraced for who they are as individuals, not what they look like. NEDA provides critical programs and services to support individuals and families affected by eating disorders like their National toll-free Helpline, Annual Conference, Parents, Families and Friends Network, NEDA Navigators and Preventative Tookits for Parents and Educators.
by Paula | Feb 23, 2015 | Anorexia sucks, Family
It was an exciting kick-off to Eating Disorder Awareness Week. Guzzy and I participated in the Third Annual NEDA walk in Minneapolis at the Mall of America – there were over 500 registered participants, and I’m sure there were a couple hundred more folks in attendance. They raised over $50,000 to in the fight against eating disorders.
Minneapolis Mall of America NEDA walk
Terry Marks, the Chief Development Office gave an introductory speech, followed by a short set by ‘The Mrs’ an all-female rock-n-roll band that had me in tears with the lyrics of one of their songs that captured the dynamic of a mother-daughter relationship. While I was wiping my eyes, I recognized the woman next to me taking pictures as Terry Marks. I introduced myself and told her that I was organizing a walk for Madison in September. In response she gave me a great big hug. I introduced her to Guzzy, who also received a bear hug. Guzzy convinced me to take a selfie with Terry not the most flattering pic of me… but it captures the moment.
At the Minneapolis NEDA Walk – Terry is the Chief Development officer at NEDA
The venue at the rotunda was perfect – we were able to take one lap around the mall in about 20 minutes. I was able to visit all the sponsor tables, and got lots of ideas for what will be a more modest walk in the fall in Madison. After the walk, Guzzy and I were really pumped up. I chatted with a few participants and organizers, giving and collecting business cards.
Then Guzzy and I spent a couple hours shopping, including a stop at the first national sponsor of NEDA: Aerie, a lingerie store, which is basically a scaled down and less sexualized version of Victoria’s Secret – so it felt good to spend some money there. They have a campaign targeted to keeping it ‘real’… while also feeling good about yourself. During our shopping expedition Guzzy found a cool hat and we greatly enjoyed our lunch at Bubba Gump Shrimp.
Guzzy and I had left our coats in the car in the mall parking lot to avoid having to lug them with us everywhere we went all morning. The scurry INTO the mall was invigorating at the least, with an air temp of -8 degrees. Heading back to the car in the early pm was even more chilling, since the mittens and coats waiting for us in the car were a chill -5 degrees. My hands protested greatly at being shoved into my frozen mittens for the short ride back to Eagan; where we spent a few more hours with the grandbabies before heading home for Madison.
Late last night after we arrived home after the long drive from Minneapolis, Guzzy gave me a great big bear hug, saying she’d had a great time. Me too, sweetie… me too.
by Paula | Dec 17, 2014 | Anorexia sucks
After a lengthy period of hemming and hawing, I have committed to coordinating a fund-raising walk for the National Eating Disorder Association to be held in the fall of 2015. Over the next few weeks I’ll be focusing on finding a venue and pinning down a date; while also recruiting others from my community to assist (hint, hint to those of you in the Madison, WI area!).
A friend asked how I will find the time? There are always plausible reasons to NOT do something: Too busy, too tired, too stressed, too timid, too scared, etc. etc. etc. For me – it came down to what CAN I do? After all my reading and learning and posting and ranting, it is time for tangible action.
I recently read Amy Pohler’s book “Yes, Please’ in which she shares the secret to her incredible personal productivity: “You DO it because the doing of it is the thing. The doing is the thing. The talking and worrying and thinking is NOT the thing.” As I life-long worrier and thinker, that resonated with me. At the end of the day, it is our actions that matter more than our worrying.
One of the speakers at the NEDA conference earlier this year advised that her own recovery from an eating disorder was based on doing “The Next Right Thing”, one day at a time. When playing tennis, my doubles partner and I often talk about focusing on ‘one point at a time’. Whether its recovery from an eating disorder, a tennis match, or tackling a big project; its important to act, to DO the next right thing, accepting that there may be some mistakes or bad days along the way. One missed tennis shot does not mean match-over — it means its time to refocus on the next point.
