My dad is 93. I love him. He lives nearby–in the house where he and my mom raised four kids; a tiny 3 bedroom ranch with one bathroom in the suburbs. They were good parents, doing the best they could in simpler times. My dad sold insurance and mom had a variety of jobs including music teacher and social worker.
My dad is 93. I love him. Despite a variety of physical woes, his health is currently good. He regularly tells us that getting old ain’t for wimps! Although he repeats himself frequently, he does not have a single trace of dementia; as he has always enjoyed the telling and re-telling of his favorite stories.
My dad is 93. I love him. He is lonely–he misses mom, his wife of nearly 60 years. He relishes his time with family, and is a loving great-grandfather to a growing passel of youngsters. He also enjoys his frequent excursion to the local coffee shop, where he flirts with the twenty-something waitresses.
My dad is 93. I love him. He watches Fox News. He has never had a black friend or colleague. He loudly and frequently disparages the Black Lives Matter movement and the concept of white privilege. He makes cruel, uneducated and ignorant statements with great authority, as if they are statements of fact. He is unwilling to consider that he may be wrong or misinformed.
My dad is 93. I love him. Several relatives, including myself, have curtailed contact with him in recent months, as it is simply too painful to deal with his comments; especially at a time when we are all so emotionally tapped out.
My dad is 93. I love him, BUT…. but, I am done cutting him a mile of slack on this issue. This is not a mere political disagreement; but an issue of humanity. How far can we / should we bend to accommodate those ‘who don’t know better’, before our own humanity breaks? My new ground rule with dad is that we don’t talk about race. If/when he starts making racially driven-commentary; I will simply leave or end the conversation. He will know why.
Then I will call or visit again next week. Because, after all, he is my dad, and I love him.