by Paula | Dec 30, 2020 | Family, Paula Persists, Uncategorized
For us, 2020 got off to a great start. In the first 11 weeks of the year, we took a wonderful Mexican vacation, our grandson was born and DD (youngest daughter) started a new job as a barista.
Then… the pandemic struck. Right after our grandson’s much anticipated birth on March 13th, everything went into a COVID lock-down. Suddenly we were working remotely, activities and gatherings of all kinds were cancelled, restaurants and cafe’s closed and furloughed workers (including DD). It was a dramatic and sudden shift which we originally thought would last a few weeks or a couple months at most. Almost 10 months in, and we are just now starting to see light at the end of this long and painful tunnel.
The suffering and loss of human life has been devastating. So far our family has been very fortunate. Despite salary cut-backs and DD’s job loss we are OK financially and have remained virus free. Dan and DD each had serious injuries this year (unrelated to the virus), but both have recovered well.
My oldest daughter’s household is one of many juggling impossible demands every day: teaching and working from home, virtual learning for twin second-graders, and the demands of a very active baby. I help out when I can – always coming away with a new appreciation for challenge of virtual learning for teachers and students, and for the amount of physical energy required to keep up with a busy baby!
While understanding and agreeing with the reasons for keeping away from friends and family—it takes an emotional toll. Like everyone, we miss going to events and get-togethers. We are getting a little tired of each other’s company: although our mutt, Cleo, is thrilled to have her peeps at home. I am fortunate to be able to work from home and to be able to continue to play tennis. Seeing my tennis friends (masked and keeping our distance on the court) has been a balm to my soul.
2020 brought us the horror of George Floyd’s murder with a renewed resurgence of racial tensions, marches and riots. Our ongoing National Shame of systemic violence against people of color in our country was painfully evident in 2020.
Then, there was the election: the election that just may (?) save our Democracy from the tRumpster. Time will tell. For myself, the emotional toll of the tRump Administration has been as draining and as the toll taken by the Corona Virus.
I hope that 2021 is the inverse of 2020–With a difficult start, a gradual return to a new normal, and ending with joyous and safe holiday gatherings. Hopefully we will be able to leverage the lessons learned in 2020 in a positive way, leaving us more appreciative and grateful for even the smallest of blessings in our lives .
Happy New Year!
by Paula | Nov 24, 2020 | Family, Paula Persists
I recently spent a couple days with the ‘Giggle Squad”, three second-graders consisting of my twin grand-girls and a friend that are virtually learning together in their homes in the Twin Cities during this time of COVID. I help them out two days every other week to give their working parents some respite. Last week there was no online school on my scheduled days, so I came prepared with a PLAN chock-full of activities.
Of course, my detailed plan was blown on the first day. The wood and clay building project that was only supposed to take one hour, took three. The instructions for the kits I had purchased proved to be a slight mismatch with the provided materials; giving us the opportunity to flex our problem-solving muscles and make some adjustments– I gained important new glue gun skills, and the girls gained confidence in their ability to think of creative solutions to unexpected problems.
Another planned activity was replaced with a spontaneous nature walk around a nearby lake on an unseasonably warm day. The girls had a great time: jumping on rocks, exploring a culvert, skipping rocks, and crawling all over a fallen tree. There may or may not have been a bathroom break in the woods, and there may or may not have been an extensive conversation about ‘dung’. (After all, what happens in the woods stays in the woods.) Magic happens when you lose all track of time and get lost in the ‘now’ of nature.
We created our own restaurant, agreeing on the name ‘Best Foods. We cooked, made menus and served lunch to two customers each day. Both customers happened to work in the same building as the restaurant, and we received very positive reviews – particularly regarding the charm of the servers.
We rehearsed and prepared a play, The Popsicle Boy, which we presented at the end of our time together for a small, but select audience. I have found that dramatic endeavors (and restaurant reviews) are always best received when the audience consists entirely of the parents of cast members.
In short, it was a wonderful trip, and my heart was very full by the time I headed home. Extra time with the girls is an ‘unplanned’ source of joy and wonder for this grandma in these difficult times.
by Paula | Nov 4, 2020 | Paula Persists, Uncategorized
Today, Nov. 4th, 2020, is tortuous as we await final election results. To help bide the time and distract myself from early returns, I took a trip down ‘nightmare’ lane, pulling together a highlight reel of my ‘greatest’ rants over the last four years. Enjoy!
‘Walking the Dog” November, 2016, wherein I start to TRY to come to grips with the hell just happened
My world view has been rocked. I spent last week in various stages of shock, grief and depression. It is not because we have elected an amateur and thief to our highest office; it is not because my candidate lost; and it is not because a Republican won. While those statements are all true — they are not the cause of my inner turmoil and occasional despair.
I despair because this man consistently demonstrated that he is a racist and a sexist; yet we elected him anyway. This man openly disdains and denigrates women, people of any color, Muslims, Mexicans, immigrants, the disabled, the LGBT community, and more. His promise to ‘Make America Great Again’ is a thinly veiled slogan for white supremacy.
Rising January 2017 wherein I march in Washington DC with my sisters and brothers.
Still, We Rise. Thank you Maya Angelou for these words: “You can kill me with your hatefulness, but just like life… I rise”.
Today, I joined hundreds of thousands of women; along with our partners, brothers and children to collectively protest tRump’s election with a message of equality and inclusiveness. Having been denied a permit to use the mall (which was NOT being used), 500,000 women were crammed on Independence Avenue and surrounding streets. It was a veritable sea of pink pussy hats!
Small Things Matter, April 2017: wherein I am appalled by the boorishness of tRump. I am nostalgic for the Obama’s grace and class. Barack and Michelle always treated each other with respect and love. In contrast, tRump rarely misses an opportunity to display his lack of common decency. Personally, I would not trust him to feed my cat.
Joy and Sorrow, (6/18): wherein we babysit our precious grand girls, and reflect on the barbaric cruelty of putting children in cages.
From our trip to the zoo, I have a picture of my two precious, Mexican-American grand-daughters peering out from behind bars–in a cage. This picture feels like a punch in the gut every time I look at it. It is a close-to-the-heart reminder of our inhuman treatment of families who seek asylum within our borders.
Tonight, Dan, the girls and I made strawberry shortcake with strawberries we picked this afternoon. I gave the girls a bath, there were many giggles while we wrestled them into their PJs; we brushed their hair and their teeth, we read books, and lovingly tucked them into bed. They are with family that loves them and they are safe. Yet, my heart aches knowing that so many equally precious children are needlessly terrified and among strangers tonight.
Becoming (8/18), wherein I gush about Michelle Obama and her Book.
The release of this book among the backdrop of the continued horrors of the current White House illustrates the enormous chasm between the Obamas and our current Tweeter in Chief. The chasm is wide and deep on multiple levels: the Obamas consistently displayed intelligence, humor, a strong work ethic, humility, class and above all – human decency. To paraphrase Michelle herself in a recent interview with Stephen Colbert: It is lazy and easy to lead with fear; it is much harder to lead with hope.
For the last two years, it has been hard to keep hope, and to avoid responding in kind to the ignorance, cruelty, vulgarity and nastiness regularly displayed by the current POTUS. Yet, Michelle still believes in ‘going high’, because what is our choice? We have to believe in something better. She reminds us that as FLOTUS, she was able to meet many people across our country, and the vast majority of them are good and kind.
Pondering American Greatness, May 2020: wherein I try to figure out what the hell MAGA actually means
The MAGA crowd has never answered the question: When, exactly, was America great? What is the timeframe that they are so nostalgic for?
Any era of American history that we choose is riddled with both great accomplishments and great oppression and cruelty. America has always been a land of contradictions. Any definition of greatness depends on the lens that is used to view the era.
The MAGA lens of greatness reflects a particularly narrow and xenophobic ‘love it or leave it’ brand of patriotism. They demonstrate a sense of entitlement to American greatness as uniquely THEIRS. No immigrants, feminists, ‘libtards’, people of color, Native Americans, gays, lesbians, or non-Christians are welcome in their imagined era of greatness.
Above all else, the MAGA crowd misses the good ‘ole days when it would have been impossible for a black man to become President.
The MAGA crowd is afraid of anyone who does not look like, sound like, love like or pray like themselves. These fears are stoked daily by their combative leader. tRump revels in stirring up division and conflict, and when there is no true conflict of interest, he creates one in order to keep his base in a continual state of rage and indignation–even if that anger ends up being directed at some poor Costco clerk who is just checking to make sure shoppers are wearing masks.
One can debate endlessly as to when America was at its peak of ‘greatness’. But one thing I am sure of: our current path is decidedly NOT leading towards ‘greatness’, no matter how rose-colored your glasses or your hat.
Other Rants
A New Reality, (11/16), wherein I continue to process my shock
Sleepless and Troubled, (1/17), wherein I lose sleep part 1
Profiles in Dishonor (2/17): wherein I ponder (for the first, but not last time) when and if Republican Senators will find their spines or balls
Thank you Mitch McConnell (2/17): wherein I quote Mitch: “ She was warned, she was given an explanation. Nevertheless, she persisted.”
Cracks in the Orange Veneer, (3/17) wherein I describe early tRump missteps, while still under the delusion that it mattered.
Insomnia and Blind Faith (3/17), wherein I once again lose sleep, part 2
Ding, Dong the Bill is Dead (3/17), wherein I compose a song, about the ill-fated GOP health care bill
Orange is the new Crack, (3/17): wherein it is apparent that tRump is leading a cult.
The GOP Shit Sandwich: (5/17) – Wherein the GOP fails to pass a health care bill, which was so crappy that even the GOP majority in the Senate and the House didn’t support it.
Tweeter in Chief, (5/17): wherein I (again) bemoan the spinelessness of the GOP
Circle Breathing (5/17): wherein I ponder the unity of resistance
Lordy, I hope there are tapes (6/17), wherein it is apparent that the truth is no longer relevant.
Our National Shame: (6/17): Wherein Black Men are being Murdered by Police
As the “D” Turns, (8/17): wherein we get a chuckle over The Mooch! “I’m not a back stabber, I’m a front stabber’
Are you Outraged Yet? (8/17), wherein tRump defends White Supremacists in Charlottesville.
Regulations and rights (10/17) wherein my uterus is more dangerous than a semi-automatic weapon
#METOO, (11/17): wherein I ponder my own troubling experiences
Resisting The New Normal, (2/18), wherein I itemize some of the ways that tRump is not normal.
When Bullies are in Charge (2/18), wherein I ponder the impacts of revering bullies
The Debt of Privilege (3/18), wherein I ponder being white
The Sound of Silence (3/18), wherein we learn the power of silence from a teenager as she mourns her slain friends
Children of the Corn (4/18): wherein I tell a story about greedy kids and tell a joke to describe the extreme disparities of our economic system
Making American Great, (5/18): wherein, I reflect on slavery and racism
Cost of Democracy (6/18), wherein I reflect on the corruption of big money in politics
An Open Letter to American Women (7/18), wherein I bemoan the fact that 52% of us voted for tRump, undeterred by his pussy-grabbing ways.
Putin’s Poodle (7/18), wherein I gleefully, and childlessly explore various uncomplimentary nicknames for tRump.
Truth or Consequences (7/18), wherein I ponder the lack of consequences for tRump’s continued lies and foolishness.
The Crumbling Presidency (8/18), wherein I point out the growing number of legal problems of this Administration
#MeToo v GOP (9/18): wherein I hope that our Senate will not confirm a sexual predator cry-baby to the Supreme Court.
A Sad Day (10/18): wherein I realize that sexual predator cry-babies can get confirmed to the Supreme Court.
Winning! (11/18): wherein I reflect on the most excellent outcomes of the 2018 mid-terms.
Meanwhile (6/19), wherein I reflect on miscellaneous current shenanigans
Sharpiegate (8/19), wherein I reflect on tRump’s drawing and weather forecasting skills
A Dream Deferred, (11/19) wherein I painfully conclude the Dems need to nominate another old white guy
Dictator for Life, (1/20), wherein I ponder the degree to which we are descending into fascism
The Witch Hunt, (1/20): wherein I gush over Lindy West’s new book of that name.
Finally, talking about race (5/20), wherein I ponder the importance of having hard discussions after the murder of George Floyd.
Evolving (8/20): wherein I again ponder white privilege
Sun V. Wind (9/20): wherein I ponder the effectiveness of strong-arm tactics
RIP RPG (9/20): Wherein my heart breaks
My dad is 93 (10/20): wherein I come to terms with my father’s racist views
by Paula | Oct 24, 2020 | Family, Paula Persists
My dad is 93. I love him. He lives nearby–in the house where he and my mom raised four kids; a tiny 3 bedroom ranch with one bathroom in the suburbs. They were good parents, doing the best they could in simpler times. My dad sold insurance and mom had a variety of jobs including music teacher and social worker.
My dad is 93. I love him. Despite a variety of physical woes, his health is currently good. He regularly tells us that getting old ain’t for wimps! Although he repeats himself frequently, he does not have a single trace of dementia; as he has always enjoyed the telling and re-telling of his favorite stories.
My dad is 93. I love him. He is lonely–he misses mom, his wife of nearly 60 years. He relishes his time with family, and is a loving great-grandfather to a growing passel of youngsters. He also enjoys his frequent excursion to the local coffee shop, where he flirts with the twenty-something waitresses.
My dad is 93. I love him. He watches Fox News. He has never had a black friend or colleague. He loudly and frequently disparages the Black Lives Matter movement and the concept of white privilege. He makes cruel, uneducated and ignorant statements with great authority, as if they are statements of fact. He is unwilling to consider that he may be wrong or misinformed.
My dad is 93. I love him. Several relatives, including myself, have curtailed contact with him in recent months, as it is simply too painful to deal with his comments; especially at a time when we are all so emotionally tapped out.
My dad is 93. I love him, BUT…. but, I am done cutting him a mile of slack on this issue. This is not a mere political disagreement; but an issue of humanity. How far can we / should we bend to accommodate those ‘who don’t know better’, before our own humanity breaks? My new ground rule with dad is that we don’t talk about race. If/when he starts making racially driven-commentary; I will simply leave or end the conversation. He will know why.
Then I will call or visit again next week. Because, after all, he is my dad, and I love him.
by Paula | Sep 7, 2020 | Family, Paula Persists
There is a fable about a contest between the wind and the sun; in which they agree that the strongest will be the one that causes a man to remove his coat. The short version of the story is that the wind blows as hard as it can, which causes the man to wrap his coat more securely around himself. Whereas the sun glows warmly, which causes the man to remove his coat. The moral is that gentleness and kind persuasion win where force and bluster fail.
Does this moral held true in today’s volatile and often hostile social-media driven culture? I believe this is the great moral dilemma facing American’s in 2020. It is really HARD to feel hope in the midst of a pandemic, race riots and the ever-increasingly authoritarian behavior of a certain President. Yet, hope and kindness are the only ways through this.
I have posted something every Labor Day Weekend since I first started this blog in 2014. Usually, my musings center on the US Open tennis Championship (and Serena’s perpetual thrilling presence), the playoff chances of the Milwaukee Brewers (not good, by the way), and the bittersweet memories and sadness accompanying the end of summer.
This Labor Day feels like a temporary cease-fire of dread, a respite from the news, driven in part by the much-welcomed diversions of the resumption of my favorite sporting events. Yet, Tuesday Awaits.
As we enter the final four months of 2020 – we need to recommit to kindness and hope, to retaining our humanity in the face of sickness, division and fear. We need to show our hope, strength and compassion in both small and large ways, from wearing a mask to challenging racism.
I hope and believe that my post NEXT Labor day weekend will be under more positive circumstances; The worst of the pandemic will be in our rear-view mirrors, Serena will have won another slam, the Brewers will be in the playoffs, and Biden and Harris will be turning this country around!
